The move to Bridlington was a total success.
The house was just 100 yards from the promenade. Maybe 4 bedrooms was more than adequate but Judy lived upstairs and had an office to herself overlooking the sea and an upstairs front room with a television. David lived downstairs and had a study. At last they had a best room which contained an organ and was only used on Sunday afternoons and evenings. Well, it wasn’t, but it could have been.
They met for breakfast and dinner (12:00) and afternoon tea. At 9:00 pm Judy would ring a bell and allow David to come upstairs to watch the 9:00 news. He really annoyed her by heckling the mindless programmes she watched during the early evening.
It was a neighbourly street. People have a key to each other’s houses and offer to help. They missed their neighbour Russell, and tried to persuade him to relocate to the seaside, but without success. He would, however, come across to the E Coast and visit them.
Bradford Social Services – an exceptionally supportive bunch of people – helped David’s Auntie Vi to move into a Nursing Home near them.
At about this time Judy needed to approach Social Services to advise on adaptations to the house and to recommend gadgets to help her open jars. They did nothing by halves, and sent a detailed form for her to fill in as part of her assessment. When listing her limitations she made reference to the fact that she cropped her hair short because she could not hold a comb. She had never admitted to that before. Her husband had imagined that this was some weird fashion thing that people do. He had no idea.
For several years Judy would go down to the sea each Sunday and walk along the shore collecting shells. People come to Bridlington for a holiday. They are happy. It is a good place to be in the Summer, and in the winter the sea changes from day to day and is always interesting.
So did she throw in the towel? Not a bit of it. She first heard that the Priory Church website had fallen into disrepair. The person who had set it up had left, and no-one knew how anything worked. She took it in hand, brought order to chaos, and maintained the regular flow of information.
Then John Slater, a local actor and entertainer asked if she could help overhauling his web site. She did. She structured the information he had previously assembled, and added news and features as he provided them.
Then David restarted the 1st Bridlington Cub Pack and she set about constructing the world’s best web site driven by the world’s best database. Everything was done most carefully. Judy’s relationship with scouting was characteristic. She fully supported the local Scout Group – as long as she did not have to have any contact with the children and young people. She had bought a 2-seat Smart car for the specific purpose of never being able to give a lift to any Cubs or Scouts.,
Still with time on her hands, she noticed an advertisement asking for a proof reader for the Wesley Historical Society (Yorks) Bulletin. This was a pleasure and a delight. She had lost none of the proof reading skills she had developed in her first job. She always read very laboriously, taking each word in turn, each sentence, each paragraph. She did not read for pleasure – it always took so long – but she was an excellent proof reader. She could not overlook spelling and grammatical mistakes. Here was a journal which dealt with people she knew, chapels she knew, quarrels she knew about, and soon knew more about.
However, her body was wearing out, and her brain was following on closely behind.. Walking had become difficult, and her concentration was failing.
She lost use of her car – and did not mind. Eventually she was limited to going out in a wheelchair. She had been fiercely independent all her life, but this was so much better than walking, and she thoroughly enjoyed being pushed all over Bridlington. The hardest part of this process was the time when she realised that she was deteriorating, but still felt obliged to carry out her old responsibilities like doing the washing, She had done this faithfully all her married life apart from the time when Phil was little and her hands did not work. She hated doing it, and equally hated having it done for her. This was her contribution to running the house, and she felt ashamed at asking someone else in.
But then she accepted it, and just lived for the moment. It was not easy after feeling so responsible for so long, but it was OK.
She started to attend Bridlington Priory Church with David for Evensong, which is sung by the most excellent choir each Sunday. And they do not disturb your Peace by making you Share it. Apart from the 3rd Sunday in the month which she therefore did not attend.
Towards the end of her life David told her that he loved her. She never reciprocated, so we may never know.
Her last few days are documented here.
At the last she was exhausted.
Never weather-beaten sail more willing bent to shore,
Never tirèd pilgrim’s limbs affected slumber more,
Than my wearied sprite now longs to fly out of my troubled breast.
O come quickly, sweetest Lord, and take my soul to rest.
Ever-blooming are the joys of Heaven’s high paradise,
Cold age deafs not there our ears, nor vapour dims our eyes:
Glory there the Sun outshines, whose beams the blessèd only see;
O come quickly, glorious Lord, and raise my sprite to Thee.
It even beats I did it my way.
jbrip 